Ramo: The Hopeless Romantic

Dear Omar,

So remember that girl I had told you about? The amazing one? The gorgeous one? The one I found to be special? She rejected me...and it sucked. She said, "I just want to be friends." No weapon in the world could have hurt me more than that. I know that you say, "If you genuinely want to make them happy...then they will be happy being made happy by you." Okay so maybe you never said those exact words but it was something along those lines. But when happens when it doesn't work? What happens when she doesn't want you to be that guy? What happens when being with her used to make you feel on top of the world...to feeling like just another guy that likes her? I thought it was something...and I was happy about it...ecstatic even...but in the end I was alone. Two days...I had two days to feel what it would be like to be with her...as someone special...as someone wanted and cared for...best two days of my life.

Sincerely,
Ramo

Dear Ramo,

I know how you feel. You'll be fine. The pain is something that you can't avoid. You care about her and that's what happens when you really do. But keep this in mind...if your goal was to make her happy...let her be happy. Let her explore a world filled with happiness and love...give her the chance to make decisions...wrong ones...right ones....stupid ones...creative ones. I can see you were really hung up on her and I know it won't be easy but it's something that you have to do. Bask in the memory of those two days and realize at one point you were someone exceptionally special to her in that regard...but like all good things...eventually they must come to an end...unfortunately...it was sooner for you rather than later. Could you feel her disconnection? I bet you could. Could you feel her arms break away, first, from a close embrace? I bet you could. Could you feel her worried about every move you make; worried you were going to try and kiss her...worried that she would have to reject you but didn't want to hurt you? I'm positive you could. But why then did you try?

Emotions are one of the hardest things to control. I tend to keep my guard up...my walls high...and my true heart's desires hidden deep away in the catacombs of my mind...away from those who can leave bruises and scars. Less than a handful have entered this secret cave and have gotten me at my most loving and caring and emotion filled...willing to do anything for happiness. Those that have entered, however, have also gone. Before they go...they leave their mark in my heart...an everlasting symbol of one that got away.

I guess I'm not being very much help...but what I want you to understand...is that this isn't a movie. She wont make a u-turn to tell you she was wrong...she won't call you in the morning to tell you that how she felt last isn't how she feels in the morning and she wants to see you...she feels how she feels...nothing more...nothing less. Respect it...honor it...and embrace the pain. Let it become something more than pain...let it evolve. Allow it to make you someone who learns from his experiences and becomes a better person. You may never be with her and I know that's an awful thought....but remember...you want her to be happy. If she's happier with someone else...then let her be. I hope you can find a way to be happy too.

Sincerely,
Omar