I got my first donation today for $40. Thank you to that person. You have officially made my writing feel like it's going somewhere. =) I will continue to write to my heart's content and I will also be starting a YouTube channel for movie reviews. Please make sure you are all following me here on blogspot and when the youtube channel is ready ill link it here. Any suggestions please don't hesitate to email me at movieman1213@gmail.com.
-Artoom
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Life: Realism Lived in Abstraction
My life, or what I choose to take with me, is in this Photo Journal. My life didn’t begin to change until the end of high school and boy did it change. With the end of high school brought the beginning of college and I knew things would never be the same. This is not the end or even a complete journal...but these were pictures I found and marked eras in my life.
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A picture of memories of long ago…of a time with no responsibilities and no difficult choices. Where days were riddled with questions like, “Does Jane like John?” and “Where is our field trip too?” Innocent ignorance blankets the world of high school and its wonderful memories.
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A life lived for four years brought to a halt
By the words, “Congratulations, you are a high school graduate”
These days seem so far away
These days seemed so easy
I woke up the one morning with the question,
“Wow was I dreaming?”
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College is new and so much is happening
I took one look at her and went right to smiling
She looked at me with her warm eyes
Thawed a heart from the deepest abyss of pain
Took my head with her soft sensual hands and with
One kiss from her soft lips…I was in love.
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Another year gone, another year older
I stand by my brother’s side while his wife at his shoulder.
A whole family made from two torn apart.
A new life ahead…we’re all eager to start
He’s the man I wish to be...type of woman too
One day it will be me as I say to my future wife, “I love you”.
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Saturday, June 19, 2010
Assumptions: Tears of Lovers
HIM
It rains. I stand on her lawn looking up. Water drops smack my head outside of her house. I love her. She hates me.
She looks outside. My body get wetter and darker each second I am alone. She gazes out the window deep into my eyes. I leer right back. I walk across her lawn closer to her second story window. I look directly up at her and endure the barrage of water bombarding my eyes. My eyes are submerged in water and everything looks wet. Her eyes look wet...but she is inside. The rain isn't making her eyes wet…sadness is. She misses me. I miss her.
I mouth, “I love you”. She does nothing but stare. I move closer to her house feeling the soft, wet Earth bend to my heartbroken feet. The Earth cushions my hard steps and supports my love.
“Baby, please! You’re the only woman in the world I want to spend my life with!” She is silent. She is not human. No human could watch my heart bleed for love and stay silent. She moves.
She walks away from her window. My heart shatters. It is no longer bleeding. I am no longer in pain. I am numb. My heart doesn’t concern her. I came to fix our love and instead I leave a man no longer capable of love. My heart belongs to her. She has taken it and stomped on it with stiletto heels. She will have her wish. I will leave. I will free her from my burden.
It’s cold. I walk back across the lawn. I feel unbalanced. I am unbalanced. I fall over and smash my face into the floor. I pick my head up and look around. My foot suck into the ground. The Earth gave up on me too. I pick myself up. I am wet, cold, heartbroken, numb, and now dirty all for a girl who wants to stare…not love. My head down, I walk down the reliable, hard concrete. Face streaming with small rivers of rain and tears. She broke up with me.
HER
I love him. He is the man I love. I am scared of losing that love. He thinks I am perfect. I am not. He thinks we are meant for each other. He is meant for someone better than me. I look outside at him wet in the rain and I don’t know what to say. He stares at me mouthing I love you. He lies. He can’t love someone like me. I am not beautiful. I am not smart. I am not funny. I am flawed.
He’s getting closer to my house. I think he's going to my door but I will meet him. He looks so sad. I am not worthy of these tears. He should be with someone more beautiful.
I can’t wait to see his beautiful face. I want to hold him. I want to marry him. I must apologize. I should have said something to him. I just stared. Gosh I'm so stupid. He’ll understand because he loves me. He is amazing. He is waiting for me.
I open the door and...wait...where...where is he? I walk outside in the rain. It’s cold. I'm cold. He left me. He did what I knew he would do. He moved on. He is in love with someone else, someone better than me.
My heart yearns for his. The rain makes me heavy. My heart fills with sadness and drains the heat from my body. I am cold. I am alone. My skin is wet. The rain washes my face clear of the glossy tears. I will not hold him…I will not marry him…I will never see him again. He broke up with me.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Donation
I just put up a new donation button on my page. Its at the bottom of the page below the "table of contents". If you like what you read and can offer a donation I would be most appreciative of it. =) I'm a poor college student looking to continue writing and entertaining those of you who like my page. If not thanks for reading anyway and make sure you are clicking the "follow" button and commenting on my posts. Thanks again.
-Artoom
-Artoom
Living With Regret
There was a man who had a wife. She was beautiful from head to toe. He was a poor candle maker and found it very hard to live comfortably. One day his wife becomes pregnant and they rejoice.
“We are going to have a baby!” said the wife.
“Yes! I can barely believe it. Hopefully a beautiful boy! We make room for the baby. He will need clothes, food…a crib……constant attention.” The more the man thought about a baby, the more he realized how expensive one will be. He already had no money and with a new mouth to feed, it was a matter of time before he was in debt.
The next day, the man set out to sell his beautiful candles in the market to hopefully make some money. The market was full of men and women selling goods to people who could afford it. He tried to sell his candles but had awful business sense. He made gorgeous candles but ended up going home with less money than he started out with in his pocket.
“How did it go honey?”, asked the wife.
“Awful. I have nothing to show for a day wasted at that blasted market! If only I knew what I was doing wrong!”
“It’ll get better sweetheart. I know it will.” The man’s wife laid her head on his shoulder and gave him a hug. He shrugged her off.
“NO! It won’t just get better! We have a baby coming and I can barely support us! You should have just married a duke or a prince.”
“But then I wouldn’t be in love.” said, the calm wife.
“Well I’m not in love! I’m living each day with worries and regret. I can no longer do this.
The man looked at his wife with piercing eyes and unrelenting anger as she looked back with tears.
“I’m going for a walk.” The man stormed out of the house as quickly and as angry as he had entered.
He walked and walked…and walked until his surroundings became unfamiliar.
“I must have walked outside the town. How great would it be if I could just leave everything behind a simply keep walking to my heart’s content. No responsibilities and no worries in the world. That would be the greatest thing in the world. I wish I could have that.” With those words, the wind howled as it picked up and dust attacked the man and created a figure of a man next to him.
“Ahh…So you want to be free?” Said the sly dust man.
“What!? Who are you?” screamed the frightened man.
“Of course, my apologizes. I am Terger. I can help you with your problem. I am a powerful sorcerer and I can help you leave your responsibilities behind.”
“I couldn’t leave my wife. She would be devastated.”
“She won’t know. I’ll make it so you never existed and you can go on about your life living it the way you want.” Terger waved his hand around creating sparkles in the sky trying to impress the conflicted candle maker.
“Really? What do you want in return?”
“I want you to simply live your life and be happy.”
“Hmm…that sounds kind of fishy. Really. What’s the catch?” asked the suspicious man.
“No catch. You will live as if you never existed and I shall live as your opposite.” The sly Terger grinned as he said this and had his hands up…waiting to execute his magic.
“I need to know that my wife will be okay.”
“Don’t worry. Your wife will be well taken care of. [Ha ha…]”
“Well then. Let’s do it!” the man smiled with joy as his dream of a life with no responsibility was about to begin.
“Wonderful. Here is your wish.”
SHAZAM!
Sparkles and twinkles lit up the sky and the man began to feel strange. He felt a loss in his world and grasping on to reality was difficult.
As the twinkles faded he began to touch his arms and legs to make sure he was in one piece.
“That felt weird.” said, the man. “But I look okay and I feel good too.”
“Wonderful. I’m glad I could help. Goodbye.” Said Terger with a sly look on his face.
“Wait! Will I ever see you again?”
“I suppose once you discover your “true” self you will seek me out. Until then.” Terger whipped around in a circle and disappeared where he stood.
The man excited about his new life began to walk farther than he ever had.
He reached his first new city and walked in. He saw the market filled with gold, silver, food from distant lands.
“My town was poor and I never would have realized what the world had to offer until just now. Thank you Terger!”
Days went by and the man saw many new things but felt strange. He did not feel as complete and satisfied as he thought he would have. He felt alone. He realized he had not talked to a single soul or slept since he met Terger. What’s more, he realized that his life was empty without the girl he loved. He left for home to ease his aching heart. When he came to the door he tried to open it, but he couldn’t.
“What is going on?” said the man.
He walked around his house and peered in through the window. There he saw a sight that made him weary. Terger was in his home with his wife. He yelled at Terger through the window.
“TERGER! COME OUT HERE YOU LIAR!”
The wife moved not an inch but Terger looked at the window and gave a cunning grin and walked outside.
“Ah so you finally realized your “true” self? Did you figure out where your heart lies?”
“Yes! Please. Reverse this. I don’t want this anymore.”
“But I do. I am exactly what you believed your life to be. I was non-existant in your life until you willed me here. I am Regret…in the flesh. Now live with your wish while I live in mine.”
The man dumbfounded by his decision walked away to see the world…alone.
“We are going to have a baby!” said the wife.
“Yes! I can barely believe it. Hopefully a beautiful boy! We make room for the baby. He will need clothes, food…a crib……constant attention.” The more the man thought about a baby, the more he realized how expensive one will be. He already had no money and with a new mouth to feed, it was a matter of time before he was in debt.
The next day, the man set out to sell his beautiful candles in the market to hopefully make some money. The market was full of men and women selling goods to people who could afford it. He tried to sell his candles but had awful business sense. He made gorgeous candles but ended up going home with less money than he started out with in his pocket.
“How did it go honey?”, asked the wife.
“Awful. I have nothing to show for a day wasted at that blasted market! If only I knew what I was doing wrong!”
“It’ll get better sweetheart. I know it will.” The man’s wife laid her head on his shoulder and gave him a hug. He shrugged her off.
“NO! It won’t just get better! We have a baby coming and I can barely support us! You should have just married a duke or a prince.”
“But then I wouldn’t be in love.” said, the calm wife.
“Well I’m not in love! I’m living each day with worries and regret. I can no longer do this.
The man looked at his wife with piercing eyes and unrelenting anger as she looked back with tears.
“I’m going for a walk.” The man stormed out of the house as quickly and as angry as he had entered.
He walked and walked…and walked until his surroundings became unfamiliar.
“I must have walked outside the town. How great would it be if I could just leave everything behind a simply keep walking to my heart’s content. No responsibilities and no worries in the world. That would be the greatest thing in the world. I wish I could have that.” With those words, the wind howled as it picked up and dust attacked the man and created a figure of a man next to him.
“Ahh…So you want to be free?” Said the sly dust man.
“What!? Who are you?” screamed the frightened man.
“Of course, my apologizes. I am Terger. I can help you with your problem. I am a powerful sorcerer and I can help you leave your responsibilities behind.”
“I couldn’t leave my wife. She would be devastated.”
“She won’t know. I’ll make it so you never existed and you can go on about your life living it the way you want.” Terger waved his hand around creating sparkles in the sky trying to impress the conflicted candle maker.
“Really? What do you want in return?”
“I want you to simply live your life and be happy.”
“Hmm…that sounds kind of fishy. Really. What’s the catch?” asked the suspicious man.
“No catch. You will live as if you never existed and I shall live as your opposite.” The sly Terger grinned as he said this and had his hands up…waiting to execute his magic.
“I need to know that my wife will be okay.”
“Don’t worry. Your wife will be well taken care of. [Ha ha…]”
“Well then. Let’s do it!” the man smiled with joy as his dream of a life with no responsibility was about to begin.
“Wonderful. Here is your wish.”
SHAZAM!
Sparkles and twinkles lit up the sky and the man began to feel strange. He felt a loss in his world and grasping on to reality was difficult.
As the twinkles faded he began to touch his arms and legs to make sure he was in one piece.
“That felt weird.” said, the man. “But I look okay and I feel good too.”
“Wonderful. I’m glad I could help. Goodbye.” Said Terger with a sly look on his face.
“Wait! Will I ever see you again?”
“I suppose once you discover your “true” self you will seek me out. Until then.” Terger whipped around in a circle and disappeared where he stood.
The man excited about his new life began to walk farther than he ever had.
He reached his first new city and walked in. He saw the market filled with gold, silver, food from distant lands.
“My town was poor and I never would have realized what the world had to offer until just now. Thank you Terger!”
Days went by and the man saw many new things but felt strange. He did not feel as complete and satisfied as he thought he would have. He felt alone. He realized he had not talked to a single soul or slept since he met Terger. What’s more, he realized that his life was empty without the girl he loved. He left for home to ease his aching heart. When he came to the door he tried to open it, but he couldn’t.
“What is going on?” said the man.
He walked around his house and peered in through the window. There he saw a sight that made him weary. Terger was in his home with his wife. He yelled at Terger through the window.
“TERGER! COME OUT HERE YOU LIAR!”
The wife moved not an inch but Terger looked at the window and gave a cunning grin and walked outside.
“Ah so you finally realized your “true” self? Did you figure out where your heart lies?”
“Yes! Please. Reverse this. I don’t want this anymore.”
“But I do. I am exactly what you believed your life to be. I was non-existant in your life until you willed me here. I am Regret…in the flesh. Now live with your wish while I live in mine.”
The man dumbfounded by his decision walked away to see the world…alone.
A Hazy Dream Bringing Life Into Focus
Bruce: I’m scared.
Batman: I’m not.
Bruce: How is that possible?
Batman: We are the same. We are two sides of a whole…two faces of the same coin.
Bruce: If we are the same person…using the same mind…how can we be so different.
Batman: We aren’t different at all. I am…what you want to be. I am…what you need to be: an immovable object.
Bruce: I don’t know if you are who I want to be. You’re a cartoon…fiction. You aren’t real and the things you do are impossible. How do you think we can ever be one?
Batman: Look at my character. You know who I am. You saw me as a child…imprinted me as your hero…and you still don’t know why I am your favorite? You don’t know why after 16 years of watching me on TV and movies and reading about me in comics and stories I have made such an everlasting impact in your life?
Bruce: (confused) I…I don’t! Do you know what kind of loon I must be? I’m 20 years old and still thinking about superheroes. Shouldn’t I be over this by now? Why is this happening to me?
Batman: Calm down. Think. Think about all that I am…think about all that you are. Since you were a boy you’ve wanted to not be like me but why? Why like me? Think.
Bruce: You help people. But I can’t. I’m nobody. I am simply another existing person on the planet Earth; nothing more, nothing less.
Batman: No! You are obviously lost…but you are not “a nobody. You will always be what you allow yourself to be. Restrict yourself to being “a nobody” and that’s exactly what you’ll be.
Bruce: I can’t be you. I’m a scared guy who doesn’t want to face reality.
Batman: STOP BEING SCARED! EVERYONE DEALS WITH REALITY DIFFERENTLY! You have my help. Now…Who am I? Take away the cape and the cowl and look at my character. Tell me who I am!
Bruce: You help people. You are strong. You are fearless. You fight for those who can’t. You stand up for justice, equality, and truth. You are vengeance…you are the night…you are Batman.
Batman: That’s right. If that’s what I am…that must also be…who you are.
Bruce: You’re right. I know now. We are two opposed sides. We are incomplete. Separate we are two extremes. I am too weak…and you are too headstrong and aggressive. Together we complete each other. Together we are strong and immovable. Together…we are ME.
(Wakes Up)
Omar: (Drowsy) Was I just Bruce Wayne? That’s going to be an interesting story to write about.
Batman: I’m not.
Bruce: How is that possible?
Batman: We are the same. We are two sides of a whole…two faces of the same coin.
Bruce: If we are the same person…using the same mind…how can we be so different.
Batman: We aren’t different at all. I am…what you want to be. I am…what you need to be: an immovable object.
Bruce: I don’t know if you are who I want to be. You’re a cartoon…fiction. You aren’t real and the things you do are impossible. How do you think we can ever be one?
Batman: Look at my character. You know who I am. You saw me as a child…imprinted me as your hero…and you still don’t know why I am your favorite? You don’t know why after 16 years of watching me on TV and movies and reading about me in comics and stories I have made such an everlasting impact in your life?
Bruce: (confused) I…I don’t! Do you know what kind of loon I must be? I’m 20 years old and still thinking about superheroes. Shouldn’t I be over this by now? Why is this happening to me?
Batman: Calm down. Think. Think about all that I am…think about all that you are. Since you were a boy you’ve wanted to not be like me but why? Why like me? Think.
Bruce: You help people. But I can’t. I’m nobody. I am simply another existing person on the planet Earth; nothing more, nothing less.
Batman: No! You are obviously lost…but you are not “a nobody. You will always be what you allow yourself to be. Restrict yourself to being “a nobody” and that’s exactly what you’ll be.
Bruce: I can’t be you. I’m a scared guy who doesn’t want to face reality.
Batman: STOP BEING SCARED! EVERYONE DEALS WITH REALITY DIFFERENTLY! You have my help. Now…Who am I? Take away the cape and the cowl and look at my character. Tell me who I am!
Bruce: You help people. You are strong. You are fearless. You fight for those who can’t. You stand up for justice, equality, and truth. You are vengeance…you are the night…you are Batman.
Batman: That’s right. If that’s what I am…that must also be…who you are.
Bruce: You’re right. I know now. We are two opposed sides. We are incomplete. Separate we are two extremes. I am too weak…and you are too headstrong and aggressive. Together we complete each other. Together we are strong and immovable. Together…we are ME.
(Wakes Up)
Omar: (Drowsy) Was I just Bruce Wayne? That’s going to be an interesting story to write about.
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